Yeah, so the vibes are weird, right? The present horrors are endless. The weather is strange. Not much seems to provide any solace or escape from reality.
We are approaching summer, and I WANT to be in the mindset of Aperol-Spritz-every-day and it’s-always-vacation. But I can’t help myself — I’m kinda stuck in a mindset that is chalk-full of moody + goth undertones, almost in my own dark academia, Victorian era. Maybe it’s the Tortured Poets Department of it all (ugh, I reference Taylor Swift, so I am obligated to bring up the Great Chicago Fire — never forget). I also just started Donna Tart’s The Secret History — which is very much giving Saltburn (2023) vibes. It’s bewitching, alluring, and borderline confusing. I hope it will leave me a smarter woman. The story centers around a group of college students at a small college on the East coast. There are a LOT of Greek/classical references. So if you haven’t read Plato, Aristotle, or any Greek tragedies… you might want to get crackin’.
ANYWAY, instead of fighting my saturnine temperament, I’m just going to lean in. Whenever I’m in a rage and I want to “reinvent” my vibe, I just run to Pinterest and make a new mood board. I always come crawling back to gothic-type imagery. One artist that I always find so visually stimulating is John Singer Sargent. SO good news! My version of Hot Girl Summer is going to actually be sponsored by John Singer Sargent. Frankly, John himself was kinda the hot girl of his generation. He was an American expatriate artist, considered the "leading portrait painter of his generation" for his evocations of Edwardian-era luxury. He has so many portraits of women who just absolutely SERVED so much cunt. One of my favorites is Madam X.
Madame X or Portrait of Madame X is a portrait painting by John Singer Sargent of a young socialite, Virginie Amélie Avegno Gautreau, wife of the French banker Pierre Gautreau. Madame X was painted not as a commission, but at the request of Sargent. It is a study in opposition. Sargent shows a woman posing in a black satin dress with jeweled straps, a dress that reveals and hides at the same time. The portrait is characterized by the pale flesh tone of the subject contrasted against a dark-colored dress and background (thanks, Wikipedia).
My wish for us this summer is strike a pose as fucking fierce as Virginie in this painting. I want all of us to be so SNATCHED that we cause scandals in our community. We will spark gossip. We will set trends. We will be sensual and own our power. Each and every one of us is a socialite. This summer doesn’t even know what’s coming.
This last section is specifically for my mom. So if you’re not my mom, feel free to keep scrolling. Hey, mama. Yeah, no, so my personal information was 100% stolen. My email AND credit card. Don’t worry, I called Chase already. Anyway, the painting you always think is John Singer Sargent? (Portrait of Marchesa Luisa Casati with a Greyhound) It’s NOT him — it’s a piece by Italian painter Giovanni Boldini. I know you know we saw this at the Rijksmuesum. It’s confusing because we saw this piece IN a John Singer Sargent exhibit. I think they were friends (?) Contemporaries at the very least. This woman is serving so much cunt — I almost forget how much I love her. She somehow looks coked-out-of-her-mind and also the most hauntingly beautiful women alive. She was an Italian heiress, muse, and patroness of the arts in early 20th-century Europe. That’s the vibe we’re going for this summer, okay? Write this down.
Oh, happy first day of May, by the way. Happy birthday to avid Trash reader, Colette! I hope you eat some tasty cottage cheese today.

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