Am I Into Cottage Cheese Now??? & Other Questions About 2024 Thus Far
CW: mentions of cottage cheese — including the texture and flavor. Reader discretion advised.
The Problem
As Ariana Grande says in her smash hit, yes, and? — “In case you haven’t noticed, everyone is tired.” Lately, I have been STRUGGLING to get out of bed, as well as staying awake when I get home from work, and finding the energy to do basic chores on the weekends. It’s gotten to a point where I am TIRED of being SO tired — both physically and emotionally. I am constantly distracted and radiating chaotic energy. I keep losing track of my thoughts. I think that what happened in my dreams the night before actually happened, or I forget WHO I told WHICH stories to, or I send the WRONG messages to the WRONG people.
At work, I accidentally sent a Google Chat complaining about an intern referral to a hiring manager — a message only intended for my colleague — that said, “NOT THIS PATRICK KID.” Thankfully, the hiring manager had no idea what the context was or who “Patrick kid” is. I quickly recovered by saying that I meant to send that message to someone explaining that I was referring to the WRONG Patrick. That same day, I discovered I also sent an internship candidate a WhatsApp message that said, “oh hi i’m dumb.” That message was meant for my friend who lives in Australia, and the reason why I was dumb was because I dm’ed him on Instagram for his number even though I already had it (or so I thought). But no, it went to the intern instead. Couldn’t really recover from that one. I was truly embodying “oh hi i’m dumb.”
The Discovery
While I was watching season one of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City — yeah, I 100% recommend — I experienced something I have never experienced before in my life: I was intellectually stimulated by a healthcare commercial. Peacock aired an ad for the prescription drug, EVENITY (for post-menopausal women with Osteoporosis & Arthritis at high risk for fracture*). As I was laying on my couch, nestled under my two throw blankets and also scrolling on my phone, I was found myself the most emotionally moved I have ever been by any single medical commercial. The ad started with the line: “You didn’t live this strong, this long, to get put on the shelf like a porcelain doll.” I mean, WOW. Read that again. As a someone who was socialized in our society as a woman — still puts in a TON of effort to appear feminine and youthful as much as possible — this idea really hit home for me (almost a little too hard). I have NOT lived this long or worked this HARD to care about my appearance or the way that I look on a metaphorical shelf!!!! And neither did YOU! We are not porcelain dolls!!!! (But we are as cute as porcelain dolls). I deserve to live my life without fear of breaking down (or experiencing a fracture due to Osteoporosis & Arthritis).
Perhaps my exhaustion is coming from me being too hard on myself. Every day, I have the opportunity to wake up early; go to the gym before work; eat the healthiest food imaginable all day; look cool; be calm throughout stressful situations; be nothing but kind to strangers, my friends, and my family — so if I’m not taking full advantage of that opportunity, I’m fucking up, right? Enter, center stage: fatigue and utter exhaustion. I’m never going to dig myself out of this hole I’m in by beating myself up about all that I’m NOT doing.
So now, I am left with a multitude of questions. What do I do to cope with my exhaustion? What can I do to make it go away? What if it doesn’t, and this is just adulthood (being tired)? Is this something I can just DECIDE to be done with? Like, hey, STOP being tired girl, you can do this. Can I will it away with positive vibes and good energy?
I HAVE been trying so hard to keep a positive attitude — but to what end? When does my optimism turn into toxicity that leaks out from me in passive aggressive behaviors?
What actions do I need to plug into myself to get out a better me?
I have found myself in a vulnerable state that would make me the perfect candidate for cults or multi-level marketing schemes. Enter, stage right: Daisy’s Cottage Cheese with fruit (Figure 1). Mind you, I have NEVER had cottage cheese before in my 26 years on this planet. But in a recent text conversation with my grandmother, she recommended cottage cheese with fruit as a simple and healthy item to have for lunch. Little does she know, she has sparked my newest obsession. Where has cottage cheese BEEN this whole time? (Yeah, I know, in the dairy section, next to the whipped cream, I get it). The texture is alluring and multi-dimensional. It has the ability to take on the flavor in which it’s mixed with — sweet or savory. Cottage cheese has high protein and low sugar content. To put it simply, she’s THAT girl in the dairy aisle. I’ve been loving on only yogurt for TOO long. But what does this mean for me? Am I now that girl who is obsessed with cottage cheese? Will it make me unbearably gassy? (Or more gassy than I already am, sorry to my boyfriend/roommate)?
The Questioning
What do I do if I can’t ever find the words to describe how I’m feeling?
Am I into cottage cheese now?
If yes, what is my favorite way to eat cottage cheese (with or without fruit)?
What brand truly has the best bras that are both comfortable and supportive?
Will I ever maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol?
If Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, Charli XCX, and more are releasing music in 2024, then what do we have to look forward to in 2025?
What is there to be excited about, at all, ever?
When will our government listen to us and when will there be a ceasefire in Gaza?
What happens if Biden or Trump die before the election?
The Resolution, For Now
I will buy more cottage cheese with fruit. I will try new flavors and brands. I will TRY to do what feels good for me. I will create a morning routine that makes it exciting to wake up. I WILL get MORE sleep. I will I will strive to be kind to myself and others. I will keep searching for the words to describe my feelings. Even if I can’t find the words now, I have to hope that someday, I will.
*Please consult your primary care physician if EVENITY is right for you.
